If you really think about it, conflict is no different that cooking…Our “Conflict Recipe” is a creation and an analogy to describe the process of combining the elements of conflict, whether internally or externally: Adding the perfect personal and organizational “ingredients”, cooking it correctly, at the proper “heat’ or “temperature”, for the “right” amount of time will produce the “expected” results.
Consider the multiple meanings with each word, as I believe the concept of a recipe is a great analogy to how conflicts happens…who is ‘pre-heating’ the oven in your life? This can also be a filter for examining interpersonal, team and organizational conflicts to help find solutions.
‘Pre-heating’ = Who and what is being done behind the scenes to initiate conflict, whether it is done purposefully or not, individually or organizationally
‘Ingredients’ = People, politics, individual’s fear, anger, control, shame and guilt issues, situational and cultural issues
‘Heat’ = The known or unknown, buried or surface frustration that is the fuel behind the individual, team or organizational conflict
‘Temperature’= As the heat continues to rise, so does the temperature – this means that as the conflict grows or intensifies, the fuse of the situation shortens
‘Right’ Time = This implies that we can, and, should imply that we often can not predict how long it will take for a conflict situation to erupt or cause problems
‘Expected’ = If you were to step back and add all of the variables listed above, one would probably agree that conflict was a reasonable bi-product or ‘result’ of the conflict recipe created.
Hopefully, while we have some time here to improve our cooking, we can also be reflective on how we (and others) added the perfect ingredients...cooking up some conflict. Don’t do it. Stick to fun food!
Have a great day, much love!
Dave
©2006 David Gerber
Diagram of Recipe
One F.A.C.T. about all individuals is that they have been socialized, our unconscious thoughts and our personally written “story” have been developing since birth. Many people do not realize that their own issues dominate their behavior, almost like an ‘autopilot’ mode or default behavior. The question is…how can you re-write your “story”? Read on and find answers that will help you create your own life story.
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