If you order a cheese pizza, there may not be cheese in your first bite…but it’s coming up quickly [you took a bite of the crust first, hmm, lol]. If you use the word “should”, you might not get conflict immediately but it is going to be in your face or felt passive aggressively, shortly. I want to respell the word, “SHUD” so that it qualifies as a 4 letter word. It really is a swear word lite.
So, we often blow off words as just words. Wrong. Use language surgically. Save what you mean, mean what you say and don’t say it mean(ly). Here are 20 significant ways the word “Shud” (still spelled by everyone as should”) can negatively impact a person or the situation for short periods/forever.
Like a swear word, 20 ways it is like a swear word, SHOULD:
can be judgmental, suggesting that the person being spoken to is doing something wrong or inadequate.
can be used as a way to critique or shame someone, rather than offering helpful feedback or support.
can be a way to avoid taking accountability for one's own decisions or actions by placing the blame on external expectations.
can perpetuate societal norms or cultural biases, which may not be suitable or helpful in certain conditions.
can be a way to justify one's own beliefs or values, without considering other perspectives or alternatives.
can be a way to avoid confrontation or difficult conversations, by placing the burden of change on someone else.
can create a power dynamic, with the individual using the word in a position of authority or superiority.
implies a responsibility or expectation, which can create pressure or guilt for the person being addressed.
can be seen as an effort to manipulate someone else's behavior, which can lead to resistance or defensiveness.
is often used in a prescriptive manner, which can be limiting and may not take into account individual circumstances or preferences.
can be a fuzzy and unclear term, leaving the person being addressed unsure of what exactly is being asked of them.
can create unrealistic expectations, leading to disappointment or frustration when they are not met.
can be used to control or coerce someone, especially in positions where they may feel obligated to comply.
can be seen as contemptuous or patronizing, suggesting that the person being addressed is not capable of making their own decisions.
can be a way to avoid accountability or taking responsibility for one's own actions or decisions.
can create a perception of pressure or obligation, which may not be helpful or appropriate in certain situations.
can limit imagination or innovation, by imposing rigid expectations or norms that may not be conducive to exploring new ideas or approaches.
can be a way to rationalize or justify one's own behavior or choices, even if they may not be the most ethical or moral.
can be a way to avoid ambiguity or uncertainty, even if it means disregarding important distinctions or difficulties.
can be used as a way to avoid listening or understanding with someone else's perspective, especially if it challenges one's own beliefs or assumptions.
Remember, whether you spell it SHUD or Should, you will find more success with communication and people when you remove it from your personal dictionary.
Wishing you a great week and all my best!
Dave
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