Reading a commentary on LinkedIn I was surprised to hear (not really) that they created a word to describe a particular action, it’s called a “Flake.” This adjective is to describe the type of person (I much rather talk about deeds vs. doers) who believes it is okay to make plans or sets of plans with someone and then cancels. Some are doing this with their professional, personal and dating lives. In the DC metro area people have always used rain and traffic, but this is now a national phenomenon. Is it possible that really the word is “Fake” and not “Flake?”
To be honest and to the point with this, if you are using Covid or rain or traffic or laziness to passive-aggressively cancel plans on people, it is not Okay. Nope. This concept is worthy of discussion because nothing is ever a waste, it can be used as a poor example. Not surprising, this type of behavior is the bi-product of people caring less, a drop in civility for the last 20 years and a more selfish perspective. With that, Covid has made many people change. I have seen people choose to destroy a friendship because they do not have the skills to have a tough conversation. Or, just be honest and say you aren’t feeling up to it. Kind of sad.
That said, it is going to happen and real stuff is going to come up - that’s the truth so there is no judgement here. Also, something to consider if you are flaking on people: What were the “Opportunities Lost” and what was the “Opportunity Cost” for the other person when you changed plans on them…financial, emotional…maybe they only had this one opportunity to hang out. And then the pro-active, do-it-ourselves approach to it:
Be positive. Focus on enjoying the future time together. If someone flakes out on us, smile, say to ourselves, “what a pleasure” (because you know you are being tested) and then go have a kick ass time by yourself or with someone else. If it is business related and you get flaked out on a meeting…don’t see this nearly as often…get some other business done instead. Stay positive and remember that it is working this way for a reason (hopefully to protect us even when we don’t know in the moment or even why).
Let’s have high standards of ourselves and we won’t see this as much. Hopefully it is not a lasting trend, as I would tend to believe that those who are flaking…will get caught one day for faking.
Have a good week!
Much love,
Dave
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