If people don’t address their own baggage, they will take it out on others, knowingly and unknowingly. Many of us are tired of it happening, especially to those of us that have worked through our issues and continually try to self-improve. Want to know some ways to deal with it? Are you tired of calling a doctor, or dentist, or an office, or you are at a store with a question and the gatekeeper acts like, well, an a$$hole? It seems, at least in the northeast, this is on the regular and has been for the last decade…now worse than ever but not nearly at its peak, sadly.
Some of us still try to be kind because we know that our actions reflect ourselves. Some of us are tired of being kind but do it anyway because we need their services. Some of us feel like sharing a piece of our mind but know that will likely only create a bigger problem.
[BTW, lol, if you are this person, please stop. Fix your $hit. If you are not sure if you are this person, ask a colleague. If you are friends with this person, give them a loving notice. If you are the recipient of someone’s repeated crap, stand up for yourself in a way that will most likely positively influence their behavior. Most everyone is struggling in some way, the key is not to take it out on anyone else.]
For the majority rest of us, dealing with their miserable moods and “pist mist” (as my friend calls it) is something we will have to deal with more considering the great decline and race to the bottom we are currently experiencing. So, what do we do about it?
Breathe
Meditate (a little one, like two minutes, no time for anything more involved)
Ignore them and say nothing
Tell ourselves we are “being tested”
Speak to them individually first, always (be sure to plan for that difficult conversation)
Plan a good “Disarming Statement” for when you call them out on their behavior
If it is all the time from the same person consider getting their supervisor involved. Yup!
Contact the owner, they probably would like to know their employees are acting like &*()^)*%%
“Kill them with Kindness” – Be counter-intuitive, shift the dynamic
Ask them if they are okay. Be prepared for an interesting response(s). Also remember that if they ask why you inquired and you tell them the truth (which will set you free, maybe) they may not respond with kindness.
The goal of any “confrontational” response is not to be negative. Sounds like an impossibility but the tone of what you say, and your body language will take up 93% of the overall delivery. Tone and Body Language leave only 7% for words, so it’s best to be surgical with language, when possible, too.
We are not alone in these experiences. It gets tiresome dealing with the impact of others trauma, anger, depression, anxiety, and these overwhelmed individuals that are looking to hold everyone responsible for how they feel or their pain. Not cool. Yet, if we are ready and prepared for this potentiality we can move forward with more strength, charm, and forgiveness.
Next, we just move on with some empathy because we remember these individuals are either dealing with a challenge that is making them act this way or because they are not dealing with their challenges that are making them act this way. Either way, not our monkeys so no need to carry their weight on our backs.
We keep it moving!
Much love and all my best!
Dave
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